Fields of Gray

As many of you may have seen on Facebook, our Peace Corps Mozambique family suffered a tragic loss on December 20^th when five volunteers were involved in a road accident. Four brand new PCVs from the Moz17 group and one from my group were traveling to the coast for a day on the beach when the driver of the car lost control. Lena Jenison and Elizabeth Alden Landis died from their injuries and Mark Goldfarb, Derek Roberts and Mary Lager were evacuated to Pretoria, South Africa for treatment. As PCVs from the newest group, Lena and Alden had been sworn in on December 8^th and had been at site for less than two weeks. I had met them when I went to their PST week 1 and again at swear in and they were both just full of life and so excited to be in Moz. They were confident, beautiful girls and their energy and positive attitude was evident to everyone. I didn’t know either Lena or Alden that well but they were part of the family and we are all feeling their loss. My heart breaks for their families and for their fellow Moz17ers as they have to deal with all this so soon after arriving and during their first holiday season away. Knowing I saw them just a few weeks ago makes it that much more difficult to comprehend. Derek and Mary have both been released from the hospital and will be flying back to the U.S. sometime this week. My friend Mark suffered the worst injuries of the three and may not be released for a couple more weeks. He will also go back to the states to continue his recovery but isn’t stable enough to travel. I just saw him at our Gorongosa Thanksgiving and we spoke about how excited he was for the new year as he was taking on a new position to better connect PCVs and our science fair project with the government. The chances of him being able to return to service are almost zero so I’m glad I have those recent memories to hold on to.

Elizabeth Alden Landis

Lena Jenison

Over the past week or so, memorials for Lena and Alden were held in each region so we all had a chance to remember and reflect together. I attended the southern memorial in Macia (Mark and Derek’s site) on my way north. It was a small group as many PCVs are traveling but it was a nice opportunity to be together and work through our emotions. Only one Moz17er was present but he shared his memories of Lena and Alden and hopefully he felt supported by our presence. I think we’re all experiencing conflicting feelings of sadness, confusion, fear, relief and guilt.  Can we be relieved it wasn’t us without disrespecting the young women we lost? Will we be able to control these new fears and apprehensions about traveling and move forward with our service?  

As volunteers we take risks almost every day and have been since we made the decision to apply to the Peace Corps in the first place. We prevent malaria with prophylaxis and mosquito nets and intestinal issues by filtering and treating our water. We learn about cultural norms so we can make good decisions regarding how and when we interact with the community. But there are some risks nearly impossible to avoid. As we aren’t allowed to drive during our service, we take a chance every time we get into a vehicle to travel. Chapas are old, often in poor condition and always overcrowded. Motoristas (drivers) are can be erratic, hurried and not always the best of drivers. They have set routes and sometimes are the only option to get from one place to another but are constantly stopping and can be incredibly frustrating. A boleia (getting a ride in a private car) is essentially hitchhiking and usually very safe. Personal vehicles are typically in better condition, won’t be making so many stops, go faster and if you’re real lucky include air conditioning. You can be far more discerning when it comes to selecting a boleia but it has its risks too. A driver could have been recently drinking or might have crazy road rage issues. You may not realize these things until your under way and then be forced to decide to take the risk or ask to get out.  But if you ever plan on leaving your site you must face these decisions and weigh the risks. I can’t speak for everyone, but I’d say a vast majority of us have gotten into a chapa or accepted a ride that we weren’t completely sure about. Somewhere in our brain a little alarm went off but for whatever reason (we’re in a hurry, sick of standing on the side of the road in the sun, or racing against the setting sun) we got in anyway. 99% of the time everything goes smoothly and we make it to our destination but we also start getting complacent and ignore those gut instincts.  The events of December 20^th were tragic and something that will stay with us for the rest of our lives but maybe it will help us remember to listen to that voice, alarm or gut feeling and make the safer decision.

Fields of Gray - Bruce Hornsby

Summer Smoke



fellow teachers



October 28^th was the official end of the school year here in Moz which means I survived my first year teaching in Portuguese. It’s kind of hard to believe actually. I so clearly remember my first day of classes, the butterflies in my stomach and the doubts I had in my language skills. Would the kids like me? Would they adapt to my teaching style? Would they even understand me? After hearing from 14ers that most kids won’t show up the first week I decided to give a lesson on the scientific method rather than jump into required material. I was greeted with lots of blank stares and silence. But slowly that improved. They did adapt and were soon making comments, correctly my Portuguese writing and sassing off. I squashed the latter two habits and we found a comfortable level of interaction. Just like 8^th graders in the U.S., these kids just want to have fun, be with their friends and be popular. Some are real smart and interested in learning; some are simply in class because they are supposed to be there. I learned that I had to identify the dedicated ones and generally teach to them – I can’t make everyone happy and if they aren’t going to try it’s their loss. They tolerated my eccentricities and “strange” teaching style but I had no idea how they felt about me until I returned from my America trip and was left with only two turmas.  Those two groups gave me a standing ovation when I announced it and the students from the other three were disappointed and wondered why I was leaving them. I felt bad for them but was feeling really good about myself! And now, three trimesters and the human body later, my grades are done, exams are returned and students are asking me if I’ll teach them again next year (I would love to stay with them but 9^th grade biology is a whole year of plants and I think I would go insane teaching that). So one year down and one to go. Who knows what adventures it will bring!

Unfortunately, the end of October also means we’re a little bit closer to saying goodbye to the 14ers. Heath PCVs always COS (Close Of Service) first so some of them might already be down in Maputo but the Education volunteers will be headed that way real soon. I realize that it’s only goodbye until we’re all back in Americaland but these folks are a key part of my Peace Corps service. These were the people that answered all of our questions, encouraged us when we were down and welcomed us into this exclusive group of crazies that chose to leave family and friends to give everything we have to a bunch of strangers in a third world country. I can’t imagine my experience without them and now I’m moving into my second year knowing they won’t be here anymore. But at the same time, a new group of volunteers is settling into training and maybe I can fill that role for some of them. I was selected to help out the first week of PST for Moz17 and it was amazing to be in Namaacha and be on the other side of the situation. I was the “experienced” PCV peppered with questions, offering advice and encouraging them through tough moments. What a difference a year makes! I of course promoted the Central region and have my fingers crossed that PC sends some of them our way.

In other news, we had our English Theater competition last weekend here in Chimoio and had 15 schools from around Manica and Sofala provinces presenting their plays. The theme was ‘Choose Your Future’ and since it’s a PEPFAR funded project they all have an HIV/AIDS education/prevention aspect.  The Dombe group didn’t win any awards but they did an amazing job, had a lot of fun and are hopefully proud of themselves for how much they improved. Panda finally made it back to The Dombe after a particularly lengthy adventure in transportation and is doing well. She’s a bit of a diva and a pain in the ass but I love her. I have to remind myself daily that she is still very young and will probably grow out of some of her less than endearing qualities. She finally has a little doghouse and is sleeping outside which is saving me a lot of floor mopping.  One of my neighbors also got a puppy (a beautiful white male) and since Panda getting pregnant is an inevitability, Mona and I have decided that we’d be okay with that union. They would be adorable puppies! And I’m officially taking over as the Provincial Coordinator for Science Fair but won’t have to worry about that for a couple months. Right now my plan is to enjoy my summer vacation, see more of this beautiful country, prepare for my mom and Marv’s visit in December and try to avoid getting heatstroke!

Summer Smoke  - Girl Talk

A Day in the Life of a Dombe PCV

*As I've said, my day to day life is not terribly fascinating so I apologize if you're too bored to finish this...

3:00am – Woken up by roosters crowing outside window. Insert earplugs.

I'm almost ready to kill my first chicken
and this rooster may be my victim

5-7:00am – Wake up but avoid moving, so you don’t start sweating, until you decide if it’s too hot to sleep anymore. Go for a run if you’re feeling particularly motivated,

7-10am – Clean house and/or wash clothes while the shade is still present on your side of the house. Eat a small breakfast of crackers or yesterday’s leftovers (this is risky at this time of year due to the ever present heat but usually works out fine and if you’re real lucky these leftovers might get you through lunch as well).

10:00am – Bath #1 (glorious cold water bucket bath). Immediately start sweating again.

10:15-12am – Sit inside in your capulana for as long as possible to avoid clothing. This is a good time for reading and journaling.

12-5:00pm – Plant yourself on an esteira in the biggest, most solid piece of shade you can find with a pillow and lots of water. Here’s where you have options: read a good book, take a nap, play with/talk with/or ignore the crianças depending on your mood, lesson plan or grade tests and TPC (homework).Remember to periodically check for the shifting shade; don’t want to get caught out in the sun. Feeling social? Visit friends and share their shade instead. If you must, go to school and teach some lessons or proctor an exam.  Bath #2 might fit in there somewhere as well.





5:00pm – Start thinking about dinner but avoid actually doing anything until it starts to get dark and slightly cooler.

(Hours vary at this point)

5-8:00pm – Make and eat a lovely candlelight dinner with your sitemate and discuss life’s many mysteries or gossip about fellow PCVs, Bath #2 or 3 depending on the day’s activities and if you still have some battery power, watch some TV or a movie.

7-9:00pm –Get ready for bed, tuck yourself into your mosquito net and read a bit. Again, try not to move too much to avoid sweating and to cool down.

8:00pm-5 or 6 or 7:00am – Sleep, glorious sleep with a smattering of excitingly vivid, malaria prophylaxis induced dreams.

*This schedule of course varies depending on the time of year and even the day of week. Sometimes, there may even be a trip to the cruzamento or the vila (but let’s be serious, we usually just send the empregado).*

The Essential Portuguese Handbook for Moçambique

If you’re planning a visit to Moçambique (which you all should) or just want to have a bit of Portuguese in your back pocket in case of emergencies, this is the cabula (cheatsheet) you want to bring along (plus I've included pictures from recent adventures!):

My first safari!

Sim – Yes

Não- No

Olá – Hello

Bom dia/boa tarde/boa noite – Good morning/good afternoon/good evening

Como está? – How are you?

Estou bem – I’m good

Tudo bem – (both a question and an answer) How is everything?/Everything is fine

Por favor – Please

Obrigado/a – Thank you (changes with gender of speaker)

De nada – Your welcome

Licensa – Pardon me

Desculpa – Excuse me

Como se chama? – What is your name?

Chamo-me _________  - My name is _________

Coming down the mountains to Dombe

Onde está a casa de banho? – Where is the bathroom?

Estou a pedir _______ - I would like _______

Tem agua/refrescos gelados? – Do you can cold water/sodas?

Tem coke light? – Do you have diet Coke?

Quanto? – How much? (you can simply point to something and ask)

Onde está o parragem? – Where is the bus stop?

Tenho fome/sede – I’m hungry/thirsty

Estou com sono – I’m sleepy

Pode ajudar me? – Can you help me?

Estou a vir – I’m on my way (this could mean ‘I am right around the corner’ or ‘I’ll be there in two hours’ and should be taken with a grain of salt)

The river in Dombe

Quero uma Manica grande – I want a big Manica (type of beer)

Quero um meio frango com salada e batatas – I want half a chicken with salad and french fries

Tem piri-piri? – Do you have hot sauce?

Estes vegetais são limpos? Não quero cólera – Are these vegetables clean? I don’t want cholera

Onde posso encontrar chocolate? – Where can I find chocolate?

Há espacio para meu cabrito em baixo da cadera? – Is there room for my goat under the seat?

Por que há uma galinha aqui? – Why is there a chicken here?

Esta galinha é de quem? – Who’s chicken is this?

Não sou muzungu. Chamo-me _________ - I’m not “muzungu” (a dialect term for white person or foreigner). My name is ________

A que hora é o jogo de futbol? – What time is the soccer game?



a bushbuck in Gorongosa National Park

Deixa-me! – Leave me alone!

Barulho! – Quiet down!

Sai! – Leave!

Liga-me! – Call me!

the floodplain in GNP

Obrigado, mas tenho um(a) namorado(a). Não quero um outro. – Thanks but I have a boy/girlfriend. I don’t want another.

Mas precisa um namorado Moçambicano – But you need a Moçambiquen boyfriend

Um é bom para mim – One is good for me

Voce é casado? – Are you married?

Sim, tenho um marido e dois filhos em casa – Yes, I have a husband and two kids at home

Warthog!

And now you are ready to tackle traveling in Moz. Let me know when you've bought your tickets!


P.S. I got a puppy this weekend in case you need more motivation to visit. She's ridiculously adorable.

The puppies! Panda is the lighter one in the middle
with her head on mom's side

The Bug

A big thing we think and talk about here (especially now that the 14ers are a few months away from their COS) is how it will be to adjust back to life in the States. And since I was just back in June I know firsthand how overwhelming it is, even after just 9 months away. We’re not just on some long vacation over here and can be quite cut off from news, entertainment and the changes in technology, fashion and “what’s hot”. I had my moments of anxiety while visiting Colorado and think I handled them quite well overall, but what I hadn’t considered was how it would be to return to life in Moçambique. I figured that three weeks away wasn’t enough to cause me any stress but I was surprised by my reactions and feelings. It was hard to leave all the people I love again but I was excited to get back here and start working again. I was a bit worried about dealing with my luggage once I got back in country but overall felt good. I arrived back in Chimoio after two days of planes, trains and automobiles (and 10 hours in Frankfurt!) to a gathering of volunteers in town to plan a REDES conference that starts here in a couple days. I was so happy to see my friends again and get a chance to catch up about the last month. I was staying with a volunteer here in the city with hot running water and a comfy bed so it wasn’t like I was immediately thrown back into the mato but I woke up that first night at about 3:30am with this deep feeling of homesickness and sadness in my heart and for a second didn’t remember where I was. Just days before I had been in Colorado with all my family and now I was back across the globe feeling confused and isolated. I had trouble sleeping that first week and often found myself thinking about what I might be doing if I were still in Denver. Like clockwork, I woke up every night at 3:30 with all these conflicting emotions and struggled to get back to sleep. During the day, when I was kept busy, I was fine but during those quiet moments alone in my bed, I was really struggling. And since I’m not real great at dealing with confusing emotions, I simply threw myself into activities and books and school (I read nearly 15 books my first two weeks back thanks to my handy dandy Kindle. This by the way was the best purchase I made stateside.). For a couple days back in Dombe I questioned whether or not I could actually do this for two more years. I was down to four hours a week of teaching and had all this time on my hands and my mind just wondered to all the hard parts of life. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows out in The Dombe but I was used to it and my trip back interrupted my natural order. You’ll never hear me say I regret that trip because I would never have forgiven myself if I missed that valuable time with my family but it was an awkward time to leave. But something we talked a lot about in PST was resiliency and this was my first big test. I wrote in my journal and in e-mails to friends, kept reading like a madman and made sure I spent time everyday outside the house and with friends. And slowly I adjusted back to the slow pace of life in the mato. I finished the trimester and proctored an absurd amount of exams (my Kindle helped me through those moments as well) before venturing out again for some PC related conferences. And now? Sometimes it’s seems like I never went back to Colorado. It seems so far away now that I’m re-immersed into my “real life” but now I can look at the pictures and remember the funny moments without getting sad and just appreciate the experience.



it was hard to leave these loons

And a brief update of other events: I took part in a programming conference in Chimoio with fellow PCVs and our Mozambiquen counterparts (and by take part I mean I spent two days in bed with a stomach virus), visited my wonderful friend Amanda at her site in Angonia in Tete province, become a Glee fanatic and watched both seasons in just over two days, had a semi-scary encounter with some Malawi immigration officers, was selected for our Peer Support Network and flew to Maputo for some well-paced, warm and fuzzy type training (think happy notes, massage circles and lots of talking about our feelings and experiences) and then returned to Chimoio for the tail end of our REDES (Raparigas Em Desenvolvemento, Educação e Saude) conference. Everything was a smashing success and now I’m preparing to head back to site to start the third trimester. We’re closing in on our one year in country mark (my group arrived at the end of September last year) and I am having trouble wrapping my head around that idea especially because it means my friends from Moz14 will be leaving in a couple months. I suppose us 15ers will have to step up and be the “cool, experience PCVs”. I should start working on that.


With two of my students and my
counterpart at Feira da Ciencias



Cabeca do Velho near Chimoio





The Bug - Dire Straits (Thank you for laying it out for us Mark Knopfler)

Awake My Soul

The last month has been absolutely insane. My last week in Dombe and Chimoio in May was all preparation and anticipation. My trip in Americaland was finally upon me and the anxiety was starting to get to me. How would it be to visit Denver after nine months in Moçambique? How would I handle the reverse culture shock so widely talked about? Infinite questions ran through my head as I started the first leg of my journey.  I’ve traveled a lot since starting college and find flying relaxing. I can sleep almost anywhere and after traveling in country by chapa I was looking forward to 15 hours in a comfy airplane seat with someone bringing me my food and drinks and a personal TV screen to keep me entertained. I ended up sitting by a church group from Akron that was returning from a two week mission trip in Moz. They are doing some great sustainable work with two villages in the south of the country and the minister and I had some good discussions about foreign aid and personal spirituality. I didn’t end up sleeping much as I felt obligated to take advantage of the vast entertainment library in front of me. After landing in NYC at 6:00am, I promptly found a McDonalds and enjoyed my first of many fountain diet cokes (breakfast of champions). And as many of you can imagine my first stop in Denver was Chipotle.

I don’t think Denver has changed all that much since I left last September but being inundated with so many people (such diversity), traffic and options was a bit ridiculous. Going to a restaurant here in Moz is a crap shoot. You can’t get excited about anything on the menu until you speak with the waiter because usually only three things are actually available. But in America, you can basically have anything your little heart desires anywhere you go. It’s amazing! Speaking of options, who’s bright idea was it to introduce cafeteria/self-service style concessions at movie theaters? The theater at the Aurora Mall provided me with my first truly overwhelming experience that first Sunday as I spun circles in the aisle trying to figure out where I got my popcorn, if I could get my own drink and where in God’s name do I pay for this stuff? I almost walked out and sent my mom in. I was later assured that any normal person would be caught off guard by this new-fangled idea and felt a bit better. Those first days progressed smoothly as I got back behind the wheel of old Remily, caught up with Mem and Thomas, played a little indoor futebol and spent lots of quality time with family. Final preparations for my brother’s wedding started as the Virginia family came into town and a fair amount of good wine and beer was drunk.  The wedding itself was beautiful (I officially have a sister and nieces and a nephew now!) and the reception was quite the party. Ashlee looked gorgeous, the kids were adorable and I am beyond proud of my brother and how much he has grown over the past years.  I could go on forever recalling all the details but will end by saying that it was the perfect ceremony for my brother, Ashlee and their family and that I am so happy I could be there.

The next couple of days were spent with the VA family and the kids as the newlyweds jetted off on their honeymoon. I was still on a two hot showers a day kick and was nearly always stuffing myself full of lovely foods and drinks unavailable in the Dombe. The week ended with what is probably the best surprise I’ve ever had as Rachel and Kristin flew in from NC and Florida for the weekend! I thought we were going to the airport to pick up my uncle and his family (they actually were arriving later that day) and was beyond shocked to see these girls emerge from the escalator.  They had been planning this with my mom since March and due to their general lack of secret keeping skills had been forbidden to speak with me. I was of course wondering why my best friends were avoiding me during my short time in the states and was slightly offended. It was of course all worth it to have them with me for those couple of days. I got to show off my home state a bit, spoil Thomas some more as he turned the big one year old and celebrate my birthday with my favorite people in a low-key little gathering. It was an incredible weekend to say the least!

Week three was another hodgepodge of family, friends, food and wedding preparation as we counted down to my dad and Mary’s ceremony on Saturday. My uncle Steve cooked Thursday for Mary’s birthday and everyone was later mesmerized by stories from Mary’s mom Hildegard and her time in Germany during and after WWll and how she came to the U.S. to be a nanny as an 18 year old knowing no English. I could have listened all night and can’t wait to hear more once I return. On Friday most of us helped set up the reception hall at Regis and had the wedding rehearsal before enjoying my “special” spaghetti and meat sauce for dinner (it’s basically straight from the jar with tons of ground beef). Again lots of wine was drunk (have you noticed a pattern here?) and stories were swapped. The wedding was outside in a garden at Regis University where my dad and Mary both work and were they met. It was another beautiful ceremony that really embodied their relationship and lives of the bride and groom. I got to catch up with a lot of people for the final time at the reception and had some teary goodbyes in the parking lot after the Rosser side of the wedding party closed down the bar! (I'm lacking pictures from my Dad's wedding at this point but I'll get them eventually).





I just love other people's babies!



So much more happened in between those major events that I can’t really remember them all. Mom and I saw Mumford & Sons at the Fillmore (check out Matthew & the Atlas and Nathaniel Rateliff if you’re a fan of Mumford) and I was Mary’s date for Rock of Ages at the theater. I ate either 10 or 11 Chipotle burritos, had a wonderful sushi night with mom, Susan and Jordan, got to the zoo and aquarium, spent a couple hours in awe of super markets, Target and Costco and spent as much time as I could with Emmah, Amelia and Luke (shockingly, none of them wanted to return to Africa with me). Basically I had an incredible time and it went by way too fast. I had left all of my packing for Sunday morning but it kept me busy and wasn’t able to dread the idea of leaving all day. I was actually excited about getting back here but leaving my family is never easy.

And now I am safely back in Moçambique trying to mentally prepare myself to return to the Dombe. The culture shock hasn’t been too bad aside from my lack of patience for stupidly slow lines and inefficiency but I’ll get over that quickly and slip back into my life. Plus I’ve got lots of pictures and great memories to help me through those rough first days in the mato!                                                                                                                                    

Awake My Soul - Mumford & Sons (I'm particularly fond of the line "In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die. Where you invest your love, you invest your life")

Here et al

Somehow we've made it to June. I have no idea where April and May went but I'm not complaining because in about two days I will be back in Colorado for three glorious, action packed weeks with family and friends. I've got two weddings, a couple of birthdays (including my own), out of town family catch up with, new babies to meet, wine and good beer to drink and a whole lot of food to eat (the first stop after the airport is Chipotle). It will be amazing and exhausting and wonderful for sure.

I am obviously excited but as the last few weeks disappeared I have become more and more nervous. Maybe it’s more anxious than nervous but it’s that odd feeling in your stomach and restless nights but I associate with public speaking and major life changes. I have definitely had some of those changes the past eight months and this trip will be the first opportunity to see how these events have changed me as a person. I'm too close to it all here to see clearly but I imagine I'm not the same person that got on the plane in Denver last September. Aside from that, I'm also a bit nervous to be back in "Americaland" with all its noise, traffic, options and luxury. I've spent the last eight months in small cement houses, living out of my suitcase more or less, without electricity, taking bucket baths, using a latrine (it's not all bad!), cooking over carvão and traveling in less than ideal conditions. But that's my life and I love it. I love my little house, my housemate, my students, my friends, my neighbors and even that little town of Dombe 5km up the road. Its home.

But as this trip gets closer and closer I’m back wrestling with those familiar feelings of leaving one home for another. Colorado will always be home for me. My immediate family is there, some of my best friends are there, and my beloved Rocky Mountains are there. But Wilmington quickly became home when I started college. I had family there, new best friends and the Atlantic Ocean that has a permanent hold on my heart. Moving between the two was often hard as I felt torn between two very different places that I loved and where I felt safe. And then what did I do? I threw Maine into the equation as my restless nature kicked back in. This third home lacks that blood family tie but is by no means less important. I got more friends, more amazing experiences and new knowledge that set me off on my current path and to a new home on the other side of the world. A new home that the first three helped prepare me for because I know that at any given moment I have family and friends all over those great states of ours wishing me well, praying for my safety and keeping me in their hearts. And really what else could I ask for?

So back to the main dilemma here: what is it going to be like to go back to Colorado after eight months in Moçambique? Overwhelming? Probably. Hectic? Most definitely. Educational? On a personal level, yea. Worth the long hours traveling? Without a doubt. I get to be present at my brother’s wedding, my dad’s wedding and my best friend’s son’s first birthday. I get to meet both my cousin’s and one of my oldest and dearest friend’s babies. Throw in my 26^th birthday, a play, a concert, a massage (Gracias a Deus), a pedicure, a haircut, lots and lots of hot showers (hm, so that nice tan I’ve been getting is really a deeply imbedded layer of dirt. Who knew?), Chipotle, diet coke, sushi, wine, Target, washer-dryer cleaned clothes . . . oh I could go on and on with the benefits.

So, when does the plane leave again? Cause I wouldn’t miss this for the world!


Here et al - Ryan Montbleau Band